


When is a Monster not a Monster ?

by JulieCoin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Panic Attack Mention, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Torture, Violence, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-02-14 07:41:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13003032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulieCoin/pseuds/JulieCoin
Summary: You are a French girl who comes to live and work in the United States. After some bad things happen to you, you cross the path of the Winchesters, and end up living in the Bunker.But you never thought you would meet a demon at deep bottom of his life and that it would change yours...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys, this is my first work ever and english is not my first language so please be indulgent.  
> Not hesistate to leave kudos and comment.
> 
> Enjoy ! :)
> 
> PS : A song is mentionned : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ztita3tT2ZU

Your story is no tale of woe, but you wouldn't call it a happy one either. Not yet at least.  
Curled up on the couch, a small blanket on your knee reading a book, you thought about the last couple of week. The subdued light and the smell of old book that reigned all over the common room of the bunker made you feel at ease. Although, you loved this place, the circumstances that made you move in, left a feeling of anger, sadness and fear in your heart.

You came to live in the United States after you finished your master degree about 2 and half years ago. You settled in a small town in Missouri, and find yourself a job in the local community college as a mathematics teacher. You loved number, you were logical and you could see pattern where no one could. If you had stayed in France, you could have had a great post in a very famous university, but you just couldn't, this country only brought you bad memories.  
Then come the day that change your life.  
That day began like any other, you woke with the sun, you took a cup of tea and you went on your way to work. When you went home that evening, everything happened so fast, two men shaped like gorilla were waiting for you, you tried to run but they grabbed you; you tried to fight but you were no match with those mountain. Then you scream and they hit you on the head. Before passing out you would have swear to see their eyes turn to black but you were probably imagining it.  
You woke up sore, dizzy, and your head hurt as if a building fell on it. No idea where you were, tied up to a chair, you look around but there were nothing to see. Dark room with only a small window that let no light passing through, humid and cold, on the wall were some red symbols and you prayed that they weren't made with blood. The only door of the room, facing you, opened and a ray of unnatural light blinded you for a moment. Opening slowly your eyes you saw a shadow marching towards you, approaching, the figure became clearer. A young red-headed woman, her body was thin, she had no muscles, but when you saw her face, chills flew through your whole body. From her eyes, filled with lust, lust for blood to her red-lipped grin, the lines of her visage seemed to have been designed by the Devil itself.  
“Well, well, well, there she is”, the figure in dark said,  
You swallow your fear, because you knew that right now you couldn't seem weak.  
“Who the hell are you? What do you want?”, you said with conviction  
She laughed loudly, mockingly.  
“Ah, the little human has teeth! The name's Abaddon and I'm the last thing you will see”

The ring tone of your phone brought you back to reality. The ID caller showed “Dean Winchester”, putting down the book next to you, you answered.  
“Y/N speaking”  
“Hey, everything's alright in the bunker?” said a grave voice. Not giving you time to answer the question, it continued “We need your help, the thing we're up against doesn't fit anything we know. Can you look in the library if you find anything?”  
You wrote the details. “Sure thing, I'll call you back as soon as I find anything” you said with a smile.  
“Thanks Y/N”, he said before hanging up and the tone of the phone echo in your hear. You lift yourself up from the couch and walked in direction of the library. The library was tremendous, filled with journals, encyclopedia and book about many many things you never heard before. Since you arrive you've had a lot a free time to browse through the collection of the Men of Letters' archives (or as Dean calls it the “boy's band mess”)  
You discovered creatures that you would never dare to have nightmare about, and some that you believed to exist only in fiction. Nevertheless, each of these books held a story, a secret that you were happy to learn.

The information that the eldest of the Winchester brother gave you rang no bells to your memories, so you began to read to book you never touched before. Streaming through hundreds of pages, dozen of pictures, most of them turned your stomach around, bloody and disturbing they were. Anyway, all you knew was that the night was gonna be long.

 

…

 

A few corridors away, a hidden room, and in the middle of it, a man was sitting in chair, surrounded by the darkness. On the walls of the secret chamber, were hanging all sort of weapons: machete, shotgun, pistol, axes… The floor had a large symbol on it, a circle of a sort; apart from it, only a large chain arose from the ground connecting it with the back of the neck of the only living thing in the room. Alone in there all day long, the man was lost in his thoughts, for it was the only thing he could do; he reminisced his long lost glory and powerful.  
Because from an outside point of view, it was difficult to imagine that this man is actually a demon, and not any lowlife demon; the King of Hell.

 

…

 

“Eureka!”, you almost yelled. You quickly grabbed your phone and call Dean.  
“Yes?”, a soft voice said.  
“Oh, hey Sam, everything alright?”, you smiled lightly, “Dean's at the bar again?”  
“Yeah”, he said with a small chuckle. “Got anything for us?”  
“Actually I do. From the info that your brother told me: probably spirit, animal shaped and the profiles of the victims. It looks like you guys found a Kitsune. An evil Kitsune to be exact.”, you browsed once again through the dusty book that you find on the highest shelf. “Which is weird since they normally only manifest in Japan”  
“Is there any way to kill it?”  
“Well, the books say and I quote: The 'waru' Kitsune corrupt the true good into true evil. The spirit will rest forever once stabbed four times in the heart by a samouraï sword soaked in fox's blood.”  
Sam was quiet over the phone, you continued.  
“I think you can find fox blood in magic shop since it's useful for many spells. Okay, so what you guys need to do is find the person the Kitsune possessing, you eject the spirit from the vessel and at this moment it will be vulnerable enough so that you can stab him.”  
“Okay, got it. Thanks a lot Y/N!”, the young Winchester brother said.  
“No problem, you called me if you got any problem.”, you were about to hung up the phone when you remembered, “Oh, Sam, someone called on the Batphone, some hunter by the name of Carmichael, you know him?”  
“Hmm, yeah a friend of our dad. Did he said what he wanted?”  
“He said he had a lead on a big nest of vamps somewhere in Colorado, that he needed help and that you two owed him.”  
“Yeah right, we do owe him. We'll go help him once we finished the job here.”, Sam sighed. “You'll be alright another week by yourself?”  
“Of course,” you winked and then remembered that he couldn't see you. “You two go hunt things and save people. And try not to die!”, you said smiling, “Bye Sam”  
“Bye Y/N, we keep you in the loop”

You put down the phone on the table next to the dozen of books, and the empty cup that once had tea in it to keep you awake. You glance at your watch, “Good Lord” you thought to yourself. It was two in the morning, and you should go get some sleep. You quickly put back the books and headed to your room. Down the corridor, you passed the door 7B, and thought you heard a noise. You knew that this room was only archives, so you were about to enter and check; but you shook the idea out of your head, telling yourself it was probably rats. And anyway you were to exhausted to chase rodent. You continued on your way.

 

…

Two days have passed and the routine you've installed since you got there kept going strong. You woke at six in the morning and you dragged your still tired body to the kitchen. The kitchen in the bunker was unlike anyone could imagine, even though it was built more than half a century ago it look modern (although this aspect could probably be the result of Sam and Dean, for the past year they lived here, they probably made a lot of changes)  
You went to the kettle, boiled some water, then grabbed the pancake mix from the fridge. After a copious breakfast, you cleaned everything and hit shower.  
After that, like you've been doing everyday for the last couple of weeks, you sat in the library and started to read. You read anything really, books, journals, case files… You were not a hunter but knowing what you know now, what you learned, you could be. You've asked the Winchesters to...not trained you but to teach you how to defend yourself, at first, they were reluctant but then they took you to the gun range of the bunker (yes it has a gun range!); and well, the first time you shoot you almost fell back if Sam hadn't been there behind you. After a little practice you were able to kill the paper figure.

  
_When curiosity took over you, you went and asked the brothers to go on a hunt with them_  
 _“No way Y/N”, growled Dean_  
 _“Why not?”, you said back almost instantaneously, putting your hand to your hips._  
 _“Look kid,”said Sam with softness, “You can shoot a gun and it is great but out there, this is hell. You must deal with the pressure, with the fear...”_  
 _“Learn the way of a hunter first, then maybe we'll teach you how to fight”, Dean said before tossing his bag over his shoulder. After that they were gone._

  
Now that you think about it, you're glad they didn't say yes that day, you weren't ready, not after what you've been through. And since then, you've learned everything about werewolves, vampires, ghosts, angels and, of course, demons. Maybe you were not a hunter, but helping “the great Winchesters” on cases made you feel useful.

So there you were, at the end of the afternoon, sitting at the table of the library, a lamp on, listening to some music through your earplugs and a case file open in front of you.  
Amazing file, that was, you found it hidden behind an encyclopedia. The file dates from seventy years ago and on it was written “Infamati et obliterati” which means, if you remembered your Latin classes correctly, “Dishonored and forgotten”. Bit too dramatic for you, but you needed a break from the gory tales. So from what you've read so far, it talks about some ancient Men of letters who had been banished the order. He was so banished that even his descendants were not allowed to enter the organization. Unfortunately, the file didn't contain any information about what the guy did exactly, but on a small paper at the end, you could see that the rest of documents about it was archived under the number 14-CJ305. You sighed at the thought that you will have to search through all the archive to find the rest...but then you remembered that all the files that began with the number fourteen was kept in room 7B. You put your earplugs out and your marched in the direction of the room.

…

 

Crowley never slept, well not never, but rarely. Since those stupid brothers tricked him, chain him, drugged him then abandon him in this rat hole that they call a dungeon, he has not closed an eye. Although he would have loved to have a rest, but first of all, this chair he was in wasn't exactly the most comfortable and second of all, he couldn't stop thinking… feeling. Something changed in him, there was no denying. It pained him to feel. For so long he was impassible, searching for power everywhere, killing, torturing, abusing whoever got in his way. And he enjoyed it, more than that, he adored it; seeing those petty humans, demons, angels, begging for their life, crying. The sensation of a blade cutting through the fabric of a skin, Crowley craved for more every time he finished playing.  
But now… now the King of Hell wasn't sure of anything anymore. Chained up, he reminisced his passed actions and a bitter sensation arose from his stomach. He didn't know what it was, for he had forgotten, after all these years as a demon, what guilt felt like.  
What he didn't forget, was how it felt to be lonely, because even if he was… still is the King of Hell with a whole assembly of servants, even if he will never admit it, he was alone at the end of the day.  
And still alone he was.  
Then he heard something from the other side of the room, the door, opening.

 

…

 

Your hand turn the doorknob and slowly the door opened. Music was still floating in your head and you couldn't help to sing that French song you were listening:

 

_Puisqu'on ne vivra jamais tout les deux,_   
_Puisqu'on est fous, puisqu'on est seuls,_   
_Puisqu'ils sont si nombreux._   
_Même la morale parle pour eux,_   
_J'aimerais quand même te dire,_   
_Tout ce que j'ai pu écrire,_   
_Je l'ai puisé à l'encre de tes yeux._

_Je n'avais pas vu que tu portais des chaînes,_   
_A trop vouloir te regarder j'en oubliais les miennes…_

While humming quietly the rest of the song, you were browsing through all the boxes stacked in the small room.  
Hidden behind the metallic shelves, Crowley was confused. But gradually, his confusion brought a smile to his face  
“Hello there.”, echoed a grave voice in a lighthearted (British?) tone.  
You jumped in scare, letting out a small cry. Quickly you grabbed your gun attached to your side (Dean forced you to always have it on you)  
“Who's there”, you said in the emptiness of the room. 'A ghost?' you thought. Without you even noticing you were shaking, you didn't expect at all to hear a voice. You calmed yourself down and examined the room. On the floor, near the backroom shelves you noticed, a mark on the floor, and then wheels under it. You pulled them forcefully, revealing, at your biggest surprise, a hidden room in the middle of it, a man sitting on a chair.  
“What the hell?”, you said pointing your gun towards him. All that Crowley did, was putting his arms in the air, rattling his chains together with a small smile.  
You examined the man with your eyes carefully. Good-looking, he had a two-week beard at least, he was wearing a black, well-tailor suit and was chain from his neck to his fee- looking at ground you saw the huge devil's trap filling the room. He was a demon, you slowly put down your gun, knowing it was useless.  
“Who are you?”, you said harshly  
“The name's Crowley and I-”  
“You friend with Abaddon?”, you stopped him right away  
“That bitch? I want her dead”, Crowley said, scoffing.  
You release a bit of the pressure you had in your shoulders. “Good, so do I”  
Those last words surprised a bit the demon. “And why would a human want a knight of Hell dead?”  
“I have my reason”,you said, laying a hand on your stomach, which arose the curiosity of the tied man. “Why are you here?”  
“I have my reason”, he said with a small mocking tone and a small smile.  
His smile send shivers down your spine but you shook that feeling away. You turned your heels  
“Goodbye Crowley”  
“Wait, who are you?”  
“Why would you care?”  
“Well, as you can see”,he looked at his chains, “I'm kinda trapped here and I wouldn't say no to a little company”  
“My name's Y/N, and I am not keeping company to a demon”, you said firmly as you closed the door.  
“Well it's not like I'm going anywhere. See you soon I hope… Y/N”, your name lingered on Crowley's smile as the door completely closed, leaving the chamber in darkness.

You weren't really sure what just happened. The last thing you would have expected in this bunker is a demon chained in a dungeon. Crowley… You swear you've seen that name somewhere. You stepped away from the room thinking 'Why didn't they told me that they had a freaking demon prisoner?'

Alone in his chair Crowley also wonder about you. But before that, he felt a nice sensation in his heart, after all you were the first person he seen in weeks… and what sight! he thought.

 

…

 

Back to the library, you thought about calling Dean, but looking into the contact of the Batphone, you saw the name “Crowley, the douche King”.  
You weren't sure if you wanted to go back in that room. While the “man” inside gave you the creeps you were curious about him. Putting your fear aside, you walked down the corridor.

“The douche King?”, you said as you stepped across the threshold.  
Intrigued, Crowley said “I'm sorry?”  
“That what the phone said near your name”  
“Try the King of Hell”, he respond proudly.  
You rolled your eyes, while approaching. “Right, the “King of Hell” is tied up in the Winchester's bunker”  
“Well, I had my bad days”, he said shrugging his shoulders.  
“Seriously? You are the King of Hell?”, you were almost disappointed, “I would have imagined, I don't know… more horns?”  
“Yeah, so does everyone”, he said with a small sigh. “So tell me, Y/N, why are you after Abaddon?”, he said in a curious tone.  
You stood silent a moment.  
“Because”, you swallowed, “she broke me.”

 

…

 

_Attached standing to the wall, a small tear dropped from your eyes. Your whole body hurt, your were bleeding from almost everything, your face was swollen. The devil in high heels was standing in front of you, a knife in her hands, obviously enjoying herself._  
 _“Tell me where is it”, she said while cutting you near your collarbone._  
 _You screamed. “I told you I don't know what you're talking about, you got the wrong person”_  
 _“And I told you I don't believe you, you filthy whore”_  
 _It's been almost two weeks that Abaddon been torturing you. You were in pieces, she cut you, beat you, electrocuted you. You couldn't take it anymore. All you wanting was to die. You didn't know why you were here. Why me?, you keep asking yourself when you were alone in your cell._  
 _“Alright then, if you don't want to talk you don't need your throat”, she said smiling while approaching the knife._  
 _And at this moment, you truly believed that you were going to die, you felt almost at ease, because at least the torturing would stop if you're dead. You closed your eyes._  
 _A loud noise forced you to open them and Abaddon turn her body to the sound, as surprised as you._  
 _You were weak and pretty out of it, but you could see that two men had entered and had violently stabbed the two guards in front of the door._  
 _“Abaddon!”, yelled gravely, the shorter of the two men._  
 _“I'm busy boys, as you can see”, she glanced over her shoulder, to you._  
 _“You're not going away this time”, said the other man pointing his gun at her._  
 _“What? Devil's trapped bullets again, you humans never learn, do you?”, the demon smile creepily then disappeared in an instant._  
 _“Damn it”, the man with a grave voice growled._  
 _When the tall man slowly walked towards you, you tried to move away in fear._  
 _“It's okay”, he almost whispered while untying you, “We're here to help. I'm Sam Winchester and this my brother Dean”_  
 _The Winchester, you've heard their names before in Abaddon mouth. You were glad to find an enemy of the demon._  
 _“We got to drive her to a hospital”, Dean say looking at your damaged body._  
 _“No!”, you managed to scream despite the pain roaming throughout your body, “Not a hospital, she'll find me and finish the job. Please somewhere else. Somewhere safe.”_  
 _Sam and Dean exchange at look, discussing without even saying a word._  
 _“Okay, let's got then”, one of the brother said, you weren't sure which one. Tired and in an excruciating pain, you tried to walk but your legs couldn't support you. Sam catch you up and carried you out._  
 _Outside, it was daylight, and what a beautiful day it was. The ray of sun, that you hadn't see in so long blinded you but made you feel alive. The Winchester put you in the back of a beautiful old car; and while they were driving you somewhere safe, you feel asleep._  
 _You woke up in a monotonous room, you remembered slowly what happened. You body had been bandaged but you were still sore everywhere. You got up slowly, exit the chamber to find yourself in corridor. Hearing voices at one end you followed them. The room you arrived in surprised you, a library you didn't expect; there, sitting at table your two saviors where talking loudly._  
 _“Hey you are finally awake”, the long haired man say kindly, “How are you feeling?”_  
 _“Better”, you sat beside them. “Were am I?”, you asked, looking around you._  
 _“In a bunker, underground, the safest place on earth”, said the short haired man_  
 _“Good. I'm Y/N by the way, thank you for saving my life”,you respond smiling._  
 _“Now tell us Y/N, why was Abaddon torturing you?”, Dean said seriously_  
 _You told them your story, how your were kidnapped, how Abaddon told you that she receive a prophecy telling her that you will be the one bringing her down._  
 _“So she tortured me, asking me where the blade was”_  
 _“What blade?”, asked Sam._  
 _“I don't know! That what I kept telling but she wouldn't believe me. If I had to take a guess, I'll say that blade is something dangerous for her.”_  
 _“Awesome, that's a lead”, said Dean, “We should hit the library looking info about that blade”_  
 _“Look, I know it might be a lot to ask, but can I stay here a little bit? While Abaddon is out there, I would feel safer in here”_  
 _“That shouldn't be a problem”, said Sam, “But what about your family and your friends? They are a target now”_  
 _“That's not a problem, I don't really have friends”, you look down, “And I don't have a family anymore”_  
 _The brothers looked at you with pity. “Sure you can stay Y/N”_  
 _“Oh and thank you for healing my wounds”, you said while looking at your arms._  
 _“We mended your injury, but that wound on your stomach is unlike anything we've ever seen”_  
 _“It's okay. Now if you'll excuse I go get some more rest”, you wave them bye while stepping out the library._  
_Little by little, you felt at home in this bunker. The boys told them about their jobs, about their lives and about what was out there. Maybe I could help save someone too, you thought to yourself._

 

 

–  
You told your story to Crowley. You had no idea why you were talking to him.  
“Well I get it now”, the king said with an almost exaggerated British accent.  
“She did make sure that I never forget about it, about her”, you took two steps towards him, you lift up the shirt, revealing, on you stomach a large red scar. Not just one scar, symbols were craved into your skin. “It won't heal. Castiel said that it was definitely words. But he didn't know the language”, you said faintly, while putting your shirt back to his normal place.  
“I know what it means”, Crowley said, lifting his head to meet your eyes.  
“Wha- What does it means?”, you mumble in a hurry.  
“I'll tell you”, he paused, “If you keep me company a little while.”


	2. Chapter 2

Silence reigned in the dungeon, you were considering the man sitting in front of you against his will. Since you arrived in bunker, even if you were finally safe, you couldn't put the past away; the meaning of that hideous wound that wouldn't heal obsessed you, even if you didn't let the boys realize it. You looked in every book about dead languages that you could find in the bunker's library, pointlessly.  
Do I really want to know?, you thought to yourself, do I really want to hang out with a demon?  
Without saying a word, you turned your heels and left the room without bothering closing the door. Crowley opened his mouth, about to say something but you were already gone. Whatever, thought the demon while raising in eyebrows. Then he heard a noise in the distance, like something being dragged across the floor. He moved his head forward, the best he could, as if he could see better like that.   
You passed the door pushing a leather brownish armchair in front of you, and you pushed it in the right corner of the hidden room.  
“Well, if I am going to spend time in this dungeon, I might as well be comfortable”, you said as you sat on your chair, crossing your legs.   
“Can't argue with that”, Crowley said with a small grin  
“Now, you gonna tell me what it means?”  
“You sure you want to know?”  
Hesitant at first but then confident you throw a “Hell yeah”, at him.  
“As you wish”, he said throwing his hands in the air, “It means, roughly, 'Human whore'”  
You didn't know what you expected, truly, but you weren't very surprised; Abaddon was direct and not versatile in her choices of words.  
“So what language is that?”, you reply trying to make conversation.  
“A very old form of Enochian, only speak by very old demons… and me”  
“Is there a language you don't know?”, you asked, curious.  
“Well…”, he hummed while thinking, “Hebrew… and French”, he looked over to you “You are French right?”  
“Yes I am”  
“How come you find yourself here?”  
“Well, that, is another story, for another time”  
“Another time, eh?”, he raised an eyebrow.  
You smiled lightly. “I did make a deal, didn't I?”, you crossed your arms, “You kept your end of the bargain, I will keep mine”  
Crowley didn't show it but at this moment, your integrity admired him. He was tied up and powerless and you could have left any time. But you didn't.   
“I never really picture Hell as a monarchy.”, you said absently, lost in thoughts but out loud. “More like a dictatorship. Or more like not anything at all, just a lot of chaos, hellfire, screaming…something in this tone.”  
“There is all that. But more organized… like you got no idea the number of meeting I had a day, the increase of the number of souls, the training of the Hellhounds…”  
“And how is Hell managing without his King? Do you have a Prime Minister like in England?”, you said with a small mocking tone.  
“No I do not. This is total anarchy down there! And Abaddon is preparing a coup”  
You snapped at her name,“What, she wants to rule Hell?”  
“She want to destroy it you mean!”, he looked angry now, “Everything I installed over the years of my reign. And those stupids demons will be stupid enough to follow her! All because she a Knight of Hell. Title isn't everything!”  
“Say the 'King of Hell'”, you air-quoted. “What is a Knight of Hell exactly? I couldn't find any on this in the books”  
“You can't find everything in the books, darling”, against your will, a chill flew throughout your body when Crowley called you darling. Your mind went blank for half a second and you missed the beginning of his phrase. “- said to have been created by Lucifer himself. They were amongst the first demons to wander in Hell. But rumors said they have been killed hundreds of centuries ago.”, he shrugged, “But I guess the rumor was wrong”  
“So they can be killed?”  
“Apparently. And if she tortured you to get her hands on a blade, I bet that this particular weapon can kill her. But why you? Obviously you didn't know about the blade or you'd be after her right now. So why would she think you had it?”, he said, more asking to himself that to you.  
“She did say something about seeing the future, as stupid as it sounds”, you reply rolling your eyes.  
You looked at your watch, it was well past midnight “I should go”, you said yawning.  
“Sure, if you come back”  
“We'll see”  
You moved towards the exit.   
“Goodnight Y/N”  
You glanced at him over your shoulder and then closed the door without saying a word.

 

… 

 

You were laying on your bed, looking up to the ceiling, your arms behind your head.   
What are you doing. You're playing friends with a DEMON?, you argued with yourself in your mind. Look what a demon did to you, you glance over your scarred body.  
He doesn't look or sound like the others demon…but then again he's trapped here. And he is kinda handsom- Stop right there, he is probably a monster. You thought before falling asleep

Crowley was thinking about you too. Mysterious girl, she is. Maybe she could help me out of this. It felt nice to talk to someone, Moose and Squirrel stopped by sometimes, but mostly to insult him, to punch him or to ask him information that he wouldn't give. You were a nice change, he thought smiling to himself.

 

… 

The next day you didn't go to talk to him. You were busy, Dean called you to check on you and ask something about Alpha vampires. You thought about telling him about Crowley, but didn't.   
“Okay, good, thanks Y/N. We should be back in a couple of days”  
“Okay bye Dean, be careful”

The day after that, you decided to go see him. You opened the door to the room 7B and turned the lights on. There he was, well it's not like he could go anywhere.  
“Hello darling, I thought you'll never come back”  
“Don't call me that”, you said harshly as you sat cross-legged in a yoga-like position on your chair in the corner. “Can I asked you something”  
“Sure”  
“I've read that demons used to be humans, who sold their souls, is that true?”  
“Yes”, he said simply  
“So you were-”  
“Yes”  
“How long ago?”  
“Too long…”  
“Tell me more”, you almost ordered.  
“My life is boring, you know”  
“Yeah, but we have to talk about something, now don't we. Tell me”  
“I was born in 1661, in Scotland”  
You raised your eyebrows in surprise, you expected old but not that old!  
“Wait- does that mean you used to wear a kilt?”, you asked amused.  
“I had very athletic calves!”  
“Yeah I don't doubt that”, you were glancing at his legs, smiling.   
“Do you miss it?”, you return to a more serious tone, “being human?”  
“Sometimes”, he almost whispered  
The two of you stayed silent for a few second.  
“What did you sold your soul for?”  
“I'm not telling you”, he crossed his arms  
“What? Why not? I won't judge, promise”  
Crowley sighed, “Fine, I asked for… a few inches more”. You were confused, he continued “Under the belt”  
Then it hit you. Despite what you said, you burst into a loud laugh, “I'm sorry, but that's so stupid”, you managed to say between your laughs. It has been a while since you laughed, it made you feel good.  
Your laugh made Crowley smile. “Yeah I know”, he admitted, shamefully, smiling.  
“Now can I ask you something?”, Crowley said.  
“Shoot”, you said while finger gun-ing at him  
“That song you were singing the other day, what does it means?”  
You tried to remember exactly what it was.   
“It is called 'L'encre de tes yeux', which translate to 'the ink of your eyes'. It is about the singer, who couldn't be with someone because the people and the morale wouldn't allow them to. Basically, he says that everything he did and write was inspired by this person”, you rambled. “My mom used to sing it to me as a lullaby”  
You stopped talking, you got up and said that you had to go.  
“See you later Crowley”  
The demon did not had time to say something, you were already gone.

 

… 

 

You barged in the dungeon, a very big book under your arm.  
“You think you can help me with something?”, you asked him.  
“Well hello to you too,” he said, “Depends”  
“I was reading this book and-”  
“My, my, you and books are inseparable!”, he interrupted you   
“Yeah, well there is not a lot a things to do in this bunker”, you respond. “So I was reading a book about angels, but there is this part in Enochian. Unfortunately I don't speak that.”  
“Sure I'll be happy to translate that”, you were about to say thank you, “On one condition”  
“And what would that be?”, you said putting one of your free hand to your hip. “Might as well tell you that I don't have the key to your chains”  
His look told you that you had guessed correctly.“Very well then, I'd like a glass of scotch”  
“That doable.”  
“And not any cheap one. A fine bottle”  
“Yeah well, you'll have to do with the bottle that are in the bunker's bar. I'm not going out to buy you some expensive alcohol”  
“Then that's a deal”, he said. He smiled to himself, without you seeing it, when he thought that if he was still a crossroad demon, the sealing of the deal would have been different.  
You put your big book on the table that was on the left corner of the room, you moved it so it would face the King of Hell and you open the book to the page you needed.  
After that you left the room in the direction of the library, where the bar was. Inside a small cabinet, between two bookshelves, you opened it. There was a lot of bottle here, of all sort: brandy, rum, eau de vie, and finally scotch. A 1956 bottle of “Windsor” scotch, you had no idea if it was good alcohol but this was all there was. You poured two glasses of it, and took them to the dungeon.  
“Joining me, are you?”, Crowley stated as he saw the second glass in your hand.  
“Can you read it?”, you asked as you ignored him and sat on the other end of the table, putting his glass in his reach.  
He took a sip and so did you.“Hmm, that is actually a pretty good drink”, he admitted. You agreed with him on this, you didn't know a lot on beverages but you could tell between good and bad.  
He helped you read the rest of the book, while interrupting from time to time to drink.  
You know you shouldn't but you felt at ease talking with him, somehow he made you smile.  
“Thanks Crowley”, you said closing the book.  
“And thank you for the drink”, he said lifting his empty glass.

 

… 

Sitting in the war room, you detached your eyes from your book when you heard the door of the bunker. You shut it close.  
“Hey guys!”, you hugged them as soon as they went down the stairs  
“Hey Y/N”, smile Sam “How's everything?”  
“Great, how was the hunt?”  
The three of you sat around the table, drinking a beer. The boys told you all the details of their jobs and you loved it.  
“Well I'm beat”,growled Dean as he stood up. “I'm hitting the bed”  
You didn't know if you should tell them about the time you spent with Crowley. They probably… surely won't like it but they will learn about it one day, and it might as well be from you.  
“Look, boys”, you said seriously stopping Dean from leaving the room, “I might have wandered in room 7B”  
The Winchesters looked confused from a second, then they remembered what… who was in that room. The atmosphere of the room became heavy.  
“You what?”, mumble Dean  
“So you met-”  
“Yes”, you interrupted Sam, “I talked to him a bit”  
“I'm sorry? You talked to him?”, asked Dean, obviously upset.  
“Why on Earth would you talk to a demon Y/N?”, continued Sam  
You looked at them, upset as well, “Well maybe if you two told me that there was a damn demon in a hidden dungeon in the safest place on Earth, I wouldn't have”, you said while standing  
The brothers looked at each other, silently. They knew they should have told you.  
“He told me the signification of my stomach wound”, you almost whispered  
“How did he see your stomach?!”, snapped Dean  
“I showed him!”, you respond, annoyed  
“And what does it mean?”, asked calmly Sam.  
“Nothing nice, but then again, what did I expect?”  
“Demons lie, Y/N!”  
“So do humans, Dean”, you both almost yelled  
“Okay, everyone calm down”, Sam said. “Y/N, you are right, we should have told you about Crowley. But you should not talk to him, he will mess with your head”  
“Fine, but it felt good to talk to someone not over the phone”, you snapped at them before leaving.  
The brothers were upset, you were like a sister to them and imagining you spending time with a demon- with Crowley, made them uneasy.  
Dean went his room without saying a word. While Sam moved towards the dungeon.

–  
He opened the door forcefully, which surprised the King of Hell.  
“You listen to me, you douche bag”, said Sam angrily walking towards the center of the hidden room, “You stay away from Y/N”  
Crowley grinned. “Moose, Moose, Moose, I did not come near Y/N, I can't really move you know”, he said showing his handcuffs, “She came near me, well she wasn't very aware I was here. It's almost like someone didn't warn her of my presence”, he said raising his eyebrow.  
Sam grind his teeth together, and out of nowhere he punched the demon in his face. From the corridor, hidden from view, you were watching the scene. You jumped when Sam hit the man, it was the first time you've seen the young Winchester being physical.  
Crowley cleaned the blood coming from his mouth. “Next time I see her, and I will see her again, I'll tell her to stay away, from you. Because everything, you two functioning morons, come near to end bloody”  
Sam turned away from the demon, and you left quickly the corridor. The door of the room 7B closed, leaving Crowley alone again.

 

… 

 

The next two weeks, you spend them with Sam and Dean. They had no new cases and they try to find the blade to kill Abaddon. You trained to fight with Sam and shoot and handle a machete with Dean.   
Cas even stop by one day and you watch a movie with him. You always had a good time with the former angel, he would ask you things that was obvious to you as a human but he didn't know them.   
“Y/N?”, said Cas, as you were both sat on the couch after the end credit of Casablanca, “May I ask you something?”  
“Sure thing Castiel, what is it?”, you smiled turning to him.  
He hesitated for an instant and said, looking at the ground. “How do one know if he is in love?”  
You were surprised by his question, you forget sometime that angels don't experience feelings, and as a new human, Castiel would be a stranger to that. You felt like explaining death to a kid, it is so easy to experience and yet so difficult to comprehend.  
“Well…”, you began, searching the correct choices of word, “There is a lot of different ways to love someone. There is the love you give your mother, a that a mother give you; this kind of love is instinctive, protective and unconditional. There is the love you give your friends, when you are grateful of their presence, of their ability to make you smile, to cheer you up and to protect you. That is the kind of love I have for you, Sam and Dean.”  
You stopped a moment, for him to process and for you to find the end of your answer. You turn your face away from the gaze of Castiel. You thought about the person you loved, you loved your family so much. But with the few boyfriends and girlfriends you had, you weren't sure you loved them.  
“And at last, there is the love you have for that one person. It regroups all of this, it is primal and soft. You want to spend the more time possible with them, you think about them more than you think about yourself. They made you happy, they believe in you when no one does. They are that person, who, somehow, turned your life around…”, you didn't know what else to say.  
You turn back to look at the fallen angel. He wrinkled his eyes and leaned his head on one side. Oh god I confused him you thought. But then a smile gradually appeared on his face.   
“I understand now”, he stood up, you stayed sit on the couch and lift your head to look at him. “Thank you very much Y/N”  
“You are very much welcome”, you said with a large smile. He was moving towards the exit of the bunker  
“Oh, Y/N”, he turned his body  
“Yes?”  
“I do love you too the same way you love me.”  
“I know”, you said happily

 

… 

 

Some night, Sam and Dean went out to make an errand. You thought you could go see Crowley.   
“Well, I honestly thought that Timon and Pumba locked you in your room after you told them you talked to me”, said Crowley, happy to see you.  
“Yeah they did ask me to stay away from you. Said you will mess with my head. Did you mess with my head?” you asked mockingly as you sat across the table which was already place in front of him.  
“I don't think so, sometime I do it without noticing”, he said smiling. “I mean I am a delight to talk to aren't I?”  
You were wearing a tank top, and Crowley could see the scars that were all over you arms and neck. Most of the time you covered them, ashamed.  
“You sure are”, you say rolling you eyes at the sky while you reached for your pocket and let out a small rectangular thingy. “Wanna play cards with me?”  
“Sure”, he said with a small smile.  
You played for a bit a time, while talking about everything and nothing. You told that you were training with the brothers, that Castiel still needed advices on how to be human and that you explained him what love was.   
Crowley laughed at this. It crossed you. “Yeah like you know what love is”. You said rolling your eyes. You didn't look at him after you said that, but if you had, you would have see that the demon felt bad at your words. Crowley may not have experienced feelings for centuries, but he still remembered his human life and his family. And now, now that he could feel, against his will, everything that belonged to the past came back to him. And so did new things.  
You both stayed silent for a bit.  
“You don't go out”, said Crowley  
“What do you mean?”  
“You don't leave the bunker, do you?”  
“How do you know?”  
“Have you met me? Cause I know”, he said pretentiously. “Why don't you?”, he asked curiously.  
“You know the circumstances of which I moved here. The first week I wanted to go to town and buy some stuff but it didn't end up well”, you admitted.  
He looked at you curious and confused.  
“I had a panic attack, I thought I saw Abaddon and her demons”, you took a deep breath. “I melted down in the middle of a store”  
Crowley stayed silent when you told him. You stopped playing without noticing. Without even thinking, Crowley move slowly his right hand, put it lightly on your hand. The bare feeling of his skin on yours startled at first, but then you embraced it. You didn't know if it was because you crave for human contact or because your crave his touch. You smiled lightly at him.  
“I understand”, he almost whispered  
“Thank you”, after a brief pause, you continued. “But I'm trying to get better. And I am going to ask Sam and Dean to go on a hunt with them. I have been training and if they are here I will feel safe.”  
“You want to be a hunter?”, The King asked.  
“Yeah”  
“Hunters end bloody, Y/N. A hunter life is filled with pain and loss and despair. There is no happy endings for hunter.”, his British sound so serious now.  
“And there is one for demons?”, you respond. “I should go”, you stood up. “It was nice talking to you Crowley.”  
You walked towards to door.  
Stay safe thought Crowley. He almost said it out loud, but he wasn't sure sure if he wanted to.


	3. Chapter 3

Humanity.  
For so long, Crowley despised humanity. They were too weak, too dramatic, too petty, too hesitant. But now, now it felt humanity in his veins. He was someone new, but still, a war was battling inside him. A fight between good and evil. God, he hated that. But somehow he loved it too.   
Get a hold yourself damn it! You are the King of Hell for pete's sake!  
Some days, alone in the dungeon, all he could do was feel. He couldn't turn off the memories of his human life: his mother who he loved until she left him, his son who he treated poorly. He died, a good-at-nothing, abusive, alcoholic poor man. So what was there to miss really?  
The first day he met you, he couldn't really care about you. He figured out you were another hunter like those two clowns who chained him. Although he felt so lonely that he would have accepted to talk with anyone.   
It was until you laughed. When he told you why he sold his soul and that you burst into a laugh, his heart skipped a beat. He made someone laugh, he never done that before. And he realize, at that moment, how beautiful you were when you were laughing.  
He was falling for you, he wasn't quite aware of that, and even if he were would never admit it to himself or to anyone. A demon falling for a human, for a hunter. It couldn't be more stupid.  
What Crowley was sure of, is that you will never fall for him. Sure he was great to talk with when you felt lonely. But one day she will stop coming. And I will rot in here…forever.

… 

 

The day you went on your first hunt, you were really stressed. Dean and Sam had received information on a possible ghouls nest that have been feeding on graveyards caretakers, outside of Detroit. Since you've been training non stop for almost two weeks, they thought they'd bring you on this one, on only one condition of course: Do whatever they say.

So they you were, in the middle of the night, stepping out of car, parked half a mile from the graveyard.  
There were not many books on ghouls in the Men of letter's library but you remembered reading one some time ago: Ghouls are scavenger creatures that live in graveyards and traditionally feed on the flesh and blood of the dead. Ghouls can also take the form of any person they have eaten, whether the person is still alive or already dead. The only thing that can kill a Ghoul is decapitation or complete destruction of the head.  
So your armed yourself with your machete, and prepared yourself for a fight. Dean started giving orders, he went to the east side and you with Sam, looked around the west side of the cemetery.  
The walk around the graveyard was silent and the atmosphere around you was heavy, small drops of sweat slowly went down your forehead. Despite everything you kept your ears and your eyes sharp.  
You heard the branch of tree moving behind you, you quickly turn and you brandish your weapon. It was nothing. Merely the wind. You turn again, prepared to apologize to Sam, for being too on edge. But Sam was lying on the ground. “Sam!” you yelled. Too busy panicking you didn't see the ghoul creeping next to you. It jumped you and were projected in the air, you fell back and shoulder hit against a tombstone. You growled in pain. The ghoul approached Sam, who was still on the ground, you yelled his name but I didn't hear it. You yelled to Dean, while holding your painful left shoulder.   
Get a hold of yourself damn it! You are not a damsel in distress, you are not a child, you are a hunter! Now get up and go help your friend.   
You clenched your teeth, swallowed your pain, you fear and your distress and grab your machete with your only valid hand. You stood difficultly, ran towards the monster about to drain your friend, and you yelled while balancing your arm with all your force. The monster didn't had time to be surprised, as its head was rolling on floor detached from its body.   
It was the very first time that you killed something, unless you counted spiders and mosquitoes, you didn't how to feel about that and you didn't have figure it out.  
You kneel next to Sam, staying on your guard for other ghouls, you shook the young Winchester's body. He woke up holding his head. “Hey sleepyhead, come on, there is more from where that come from”, you helped him stand.   
Dean rejoined you right after that, the brothers examined your shoulder. You told them you were fine, and throw “Let's go finish those sons of bitches!”. The boys needed no more. You three went on your way across the cemetery and you ended every last of those creatures.   
You came back to the bunker, and all of you sat in the kitchen to drink a beer. Your shoulder hurt like hell.  
“Wait a minute, I got something for this”, Sam said. He left the room and came back a minute later with a sling for your arm, he helped you gently.  
“Thanks”, you smile.  
“You did well today”, said Dean as he took a sip of his bottle of beer.  
“You really think so?”  
“Of course, for your first hunt”, he stopped. “But you are hurt, you'll have to wait a while until going back out”. Sam agreed silently at his brother's words.  
“You probably right”, you said as you stood up. “Thank you for trusting me guys. I'm exhausted, I should go to bed.”  
You threw yourself on your bed, and you let a small cry out, remembering the ache in your shoulder. 

 

… 

 

You had to sit the next hunt. The boys left for the south of Oregon.  
“Stay out of trouble Y/N”, Dean stated before stepping out the bunker.  
“Will do Dean-o”  
Your shoulder still hurt a bit, you wander in bunker looking for something to do. You browse through the library, not wanting to read about monsters, not very much choice…But there, between two huge encyclopedia of werewolves you saw a small thin book, you reached out to it. You face lighted up when you saw the title “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum”. That was one of your favorite book.   
“Hey there stranger!”, you said as you entered the dungeon and turn on the light  
“Good morning sunshine”, Crowley responded while lifting his head. “Or is it evening?- What happened to you?”, he said worried, looking at the sling on your arm.  
You looked nonchalantly a your arm. “A small hunting accident”  
“I told you, you shouldn't become a hunter, you'll end up gut-knifed!”  
“Oh come on Crowley, stop whining! I wasn't alone and I'm not a child, I can't defend myself”, you marched towards your armchair. “And why would you care about what I do anyway?”   
Crowley stayed silent, but you didn't notice his awkwardness. “I came here to read but if you want I can go somewhere else”, He didn't say a word and you sat as comfortably as you could despite you aching shoulder  
“What you're reading?”, he asked in an interested tone  
“The wonderful Wizard of Oz”, you respond without detaching your eyes from the paragraph you were reading. “I love this book”  
“You know that Oz is real right?”  
“Of course it is not!”  
“No it is”, he said all serious. You look at him intrigued but still not buying it. “I met Dorothy. And the wicked Witch, real ball of fun that one.”  
You close your book. “For real?”, he smiled and nodded, “Get out of town!”, you said excitedly.   
He told you all about this adventure. You couldn't believe it, Dorothy was a hunter and the land of Oz is real! You made up your mind about the ghosts, the vampires and the werewolves being real; but this, a magical land from you favorite novel. You really stepped through the looking glass.  
“That's amazing!”, you said smiling “This will really change my opinion on this book”  
“Yeah…it is”, agreed Crowley. You got back to your reading. The demon didn't mind, he enjoyed your presence.  
You kept reading for a long time, every once in a while, your lifted up your glaze to look at Crowley. He was looking at you and smiled when you glanced at him. You smiled back at him.  
You felt the tiredness throughout your body, but you didn't want to stop reading. You yawn and out of nowhere you fell asleep. Your body relaxed, your book fell on your knee and your head fell gently backwards to lay on the back of the armchair.  
“Y/N?”, said, almost whispered the King.  
You did not respond. He leaned his head and smiled at you with a kindness indescribable. What Crowley observed is that you seemed at ease, you would never show it, but the demon could feel the tension, the stress and the fear emanating from you every time he saw you.  
But now, you felt safe, with Crowley watching over you.  
At first, you slumber was calm (you dreaming about being in the wonderful land of Oz), but then, you were agitated. Crowley noticed you were sweating, and arched like your were in pain. The demon panicked a bit and yelled “Y/N. Y/N!”  
You woke up startled and panicked. It took you a moment to remember where you were, but then you saw Crowley looking at you. “You had a nightmare?”  
“Yeah, it happens a lot. Abaddon and all that”, you stood. “I-”, started the demon. “I probably should go to bed. Goodnight Crowley, thanks for keeping me company while I was reading”, you smiled as you left the room.  
You sighed to yourself while walking down the corridor, you hated to seem weak, and even more in front of Crowley- you stopped. What does Crowley's opinion matters to me? God don't go down that road Y/N!

 

… 

 

Your shoulder was a lot better now, you could finally take off the sling. But you couldn't go back on a hunt right now, the brothers were on the other side of the country chasing rugarus. You decided to go out. It has been a while since you hit a bar.

Later that night, in his prison, Crowley was startled by the sound of broken glass that cut through the heavy silent like a knife into butter.   
You open violently the door with a kick, you moved into the dungeon with a glass bottle in your hand.  
The demon was confused at first. “Y/N? Are you drunk?”, he asked with a small chuckle.  
You were dizzy and not in your right mind, you ignored his question and just stated “Men are the worst”, you took a sip of what seemed to be a bottle of whiskey. “Men are pigs!”  
Crowley was amused by the situation. You slowly approached him and without even thinking, you came and sat on his knees, like you sat on a horse. A move that surprised the King who let out a small gasp.  
“But you are not like that”, you put slowly your free hand on his chest. “Are you Crowley?”  
Crowley's heart beat so fast that he thought it would explode. You were so close to him right now, much, much closer that he would ever dreamed. The heat of your bodies swirled. He didn't know what to do with his hands. “No...No I'm not”, he managed to say while looking at your neck. “What happened?”  
“Ah…”, you sighed. “I was at that nice bar drinking a nice cocktail and that guy approaches me. He was handsome and charming and he takes me back to his place and we start kissing”, you pause to drink at your bottle. “And his wife comes home! With his daughter!”. Crowley raised an eyebrow.  
“Can you imagined how awful I felt when the little girl asked me why I was kissing her daddy?”. Crowley did not answer. “So I hit the near convenience store and bought myself something to help me forget”, you raised your almost empty bottle.  
Crowley put one hand on your thigh. He wanted to say something but right now, his mind was blank. Hid focus went back to you when he felt something wet falling on the back of his hand. He lifted his gaze. You were crying.  
“I will never find anyone.”, you sobbed. “Look at me, who will ever want me, I am scared for life, I am hideous”, you managed to say while lifting your shirt and revealing your scars.  
Crowley took a deep breath and put gently his handcuffed hand on your check. Almost automatically, you leaned in his soft touch and closed your eyes for a second.  
“Listen carefully Y/N”. The man started “You are the most beautiful person I have ever had the good fortune to meet. Of course you have scars, everyone has scars, darling. Most of them are not visible, but yours, yours show how strong you are, they are a proof of your survival. You should never be ashamed of them, you go and tell the world “I am a survivor and I will not let the world bring me down!”. You are an amazing human Y/N, and any other guy would be goddamn lucky to have you”, he paused, passed his hand in your hair, and smiled. “I know I would”  
You were shocked by his words. You move your hand and cupped his bearded cheek. Your eyes met his, his piercing, melting hazelnut eyes.  
Crowley attempted to move but his chains prevented him to.“God, if only I were not in this chains…”  
“And what you would do?”, you said biting your lower lip. Crowley raised his eyebrow. “You can tell me, I won't remember a thing in the morning”  
The demon bit his lower lip and looked right into your eyes. All kinds of thoughts flew through his mind.  
“Well”, he started, brushing his fingers on your neck, “I will-”  
“Oh I don't feel good…”, you said as you got away from the embrace. Crowley felt his chill as your warmth moved away from him. And you felt the alcohol going up to your throat and to your head. You crashed violently you body on your chair. 

You woke up in a strange and probably uncomfortable position in the armchair of the dungeon. Your head hurt as if a train hit you. You sat normally, holding your head to find the King of Hell looking at you with a smile.   
“Uh…What happened?”, you asked with a dry voice  
“You don't remember, darling?”  
“Well, I remember breaking a bottle of booze, coming to the dungeon and…yelling?”  
“Yeah you did yelled something along the line of “Men are pigs””, he said in a chuckle.  
“God…I hope I didn't bothered you”, you said as you stand. Your legs were weak and had a hard time supporting your weight.  
“On the contrary”, he grinned. That arose your curiosity but you were too out of it to question it.  
“Well, I am going to take an hour long shower and sleep for like…a day”, you stated leaving the room.

Laying in your bed, you tried to remember the event of the preceding night, but it was all fuzzy. Beautiful. Be lucky to have you. You heard Crowley grave voice echoing in your mind. Somehow you remembered feeling his body against yours and his skin against yours.   
And it all came back to you…And to this thoughts, your stomach grew instant butterflies, your heart started pounding like crazy and your face turn to his bright red color.


	4. Chapter 4

“A. phone. call.”, Crowley said to Sam.   
The young Winchester wanted information, and he knew he wouldn't have them until Crowley had what he wanted. So he gave him just that and left the room  
“Connect me with Abaddon”, the King demanded in front of the bowl filled with blood.  
“Crowley how the hell are you?”, said a feminine voice.  
“You really think you are going to over-throne me?”  
“Well, there isn't much to over-throne since you are nowhere to found. I hope you are not prisoner somewhere, it will be such a stain on your image, mighty King”  
“You have not what it takes to rule hell. You only know how to slaughter, you don't know how to rule”  
“And you seemed to have forgotten, what hell was. Being a slut to hunters. I will take what is rightfully mine and bring chaos into the world”  
“Chaos? That is your end game?”  
“My end game is to show what are demons are capable of. You are a bureaucrat, you are not a demon and you are certainly not a King”

Crowley was never the kind of men to care about what people said, he would never be influenced by something and certainly not by that red-haired bitch. And yet, those words did. Maybe because inside, he knew that they was a part of true in them. And God, that made him so angry. Right here, right now, chained like a dog, he was no king and with this human blood pumping through his veins he wasn't entirely sure to be a demon anymore. He had become weak, making chit chat with the Winchester brought him down here. And the kingdom he spent so long to build was going to be reduce to ashes. And of all that because… he feels.

“Hey there”, you said entering the dungeon  
“Not now, go away”, Crowley said harshly.   
Your mere presence could make the demon feel like a human. And at the moment he wanted to be anything but that.   
You stopped net. “You okay?”, you asked a bit confused.  
“What do you want Y/N? Why are you here?”, his eyes met yours and nothing but annoyance and anger emanated from them.  
“I just wanted to talk”, you said slowly, not sure why he would ask that.  
“Why?”  
“Because I like talking to you. Because…you're my friend”, it felt so weird to use that word to describe the King of Hell, but he was probably the closest thing to friend to you.  
“Friend?”, he scoffed. “Yeah right, that's easy to be friend with someone that's tied up and can't go away. Let's face it you just talk to be because you're too scared to go out and talk to real person.”  
Those words hit you hard. Something in your heart seemed to broke, you felt like a ball on your throat that you couldn't quite swallow.“That's not a nice thing to say…”, you said putting your hands in your pockets and looking at the ground.  
“Yeah, well newsflash pet, I'm not a nice person”, he moved his hands around his face. “Demon here. King of Hell remember”, he was almost yelling.  
You started by being annoyed by his attitude. You lift your head and crossed your arms. “And how did that work out for you, eh?”  
“I'm sorry?”  
You moved closer to the center of the room where the man were, and you started pacing around him.“I mean good for you, you are a King, you got all this power, all this kingdom and these minions. And yet, you still ended up here. What all that you did, brought you in the end?”  
You were facing him. Crowley looked at you in the eyes, grab tight the armrest of his chair.   
“Satisfaction”, he hissed. “All I did made me feel so alive, every person I killed, every skin I cut, I loved it. Everyone I've tortured”, he smiled evilly and his eyes…you never seen a gaze like this. His color of his eyes turned like blood. “Quite like you've been tortured. I am a monster, darling”  
Your stomach dropped and your eyes almost turned to mist. His eyes didn't scared you, although they should have. But his words, his words felt like a knife through your heart.  
“You are right you are a monster”, you moved towards the door. Crowley's eyes returned to normal. You stopped and turned your heels to look at him  
“Crowley?”  
“What?”, he said in annoyance.  
“When is a monster not a monster?”  
“What?”, in confusion this time.  
“It a riddle. Do you know the answer?”. He silence meant he didn't. You faced the door.  
You looked over your shoulder, smiled slowly and said finally “Adieu Crowley” before closing the door.

 

… 

 

You were on the couch in the library listening to some music. It has been two days since your altercation with Crowley and you haven't been to see him. You were still wondering what had gotten in his mind, one day you two were so close and then he went and said so many hurtful things. Your stomach felt bitter and your heart felt stabbed. Maybe it is for the best. I shouldn't have come talk to him in the first place. You repeated those words to yourself many times. You believed them, of course, but it didn't change the fact that the time you spent with him made you feel alive.   
You were thinking about those times were he made you laughed out loud. Those endless late night conversations where he told you all about his human life, about his family and how he mistreated everyone close to him. Those days where you played cards and he narrated his adventures and how you couldn't believed for they sounded too magical to be true. You were thinking about how he put down all his walls, all his defenses when you were with him and he just talked to you about everything and nothing.  
Of course you couldn't ignore his bloody past, and you didn't. But when you looked at him, when he smiled at you, all could see was his good side.  
When is a monster not monster?

The demon was plunged in the darkness. He didn't regret what he did and say. You made him weak, at least that what he thought. All he wanted was to leave this bloody place. Although, what you said to him echoed You are a monster. He was, he really was a monster and he knew it, then why it hurt so much when you said it?  
Crowley's mind was remembering memories he wanted to forget and his heart was still fighting those feelings he didn't want to feel. You.   
It was the little things: how you made him smile, genuinely smile. How you told him things you didn't even share with Sam and Dean like how fled your native country because of a tragedy. How you were always on your guards expect when you were asleep. How he knew you were a restless hunter but were you were not on a job you couldn't harm a fly that was bugging you as you read. How you were so strong and yet so soft. 

Things were said and done, maybe you two will never make it back to where it was before.

 

… 

 

“Come on Y/N let's go salt punched some ghost”, yelled Dean.  
A job, at last. “Coming!”, you respond from your room, packing some last items in you bag.

 

… 

Laughters are raging in the movie room where you and Castiel are watching Ghostbuster.   
“I'm not sure I understand this reference” the angel said a bit confused as he reached for the popcorn.

 

… 

Dean's fist collided hard with Crowley's cheek. The demon threw his head back  
“That hurt!”, he said almost sarcastically.  
“I ask for something, now answer!”  
“Yeah, and I want out of this chains, but we can't always have what we want, Squirrel.”  
The elder Winchester hit him again.

… 

A rogue angel was doing some damages in a small town in Minnesota, and Sam and yourself went to take care of it. You joined Castiel over there. Dean stayed at the bunker researching about Knights of Hell.   
You haven't seen Crowley in a little more than three weeks now, you kinda missed him, but you were a lot on hunt with the Team Free Will TM. Your head was elsewhere.

 

… 

“You staying in bunker for this one Y/N”, said Sam while he geared himself.  
“What, why?”, you sounded like a five years old who can't have candy.  
“Because we don't know what we're up against, and someone has to man the research”, growled Dean with his low voice.  
“Fine...”, you said reluctantly accepting your fate. They left right after, they had at least a six hours drive.

That night was quiet and peaceful, just like you loved them. No drama, no fight, no yelling. You were laying on the couch in the library, reading The Wonderful wizard of Oz for the god-knows-how-many time.  
Sipping your tea from time to time, you were about to fall asleep. Suddenly, you heard a loud sound coming from the main door of the bunker. You sat up from the couch, out down you book and moved towards the war room to check on door.   
Then everything happened so fast. The door opened violently and almost break. Men passed through the door, tall, muscular, dark men; some started running down the stairs while one of them, some guy in leather jacket and long hair, jumped above the security fence and crashed down on his feet right in front of you. You already had pulled out your gun and pointed it on him.  
“Who the hell are you, what do you want?”, you yelled.  
Dozen of men were standing, almost surrounded you. They were like waiting for order but they looked at you like they were about to devour you. The long-haired man looked at you and smiled evilly and you saw…fangs. Fuck! Vampires.  
You were largely outnumbered and had nothing to protect yourself or to kill them at proximity.   
They jumped on you. You emptied your gun at them, even if it wouldn't kill it will slow them at little. You threw you gun away whence empty and tightened your fists, ready for a fight. After exchanges of fist bumps in the head, they managed to cut you hard on your arm.   
With no other solutions in mind, you started to run towards the corridor leading to the room, you closed the hard steel door behind that would slow them down. Your started running, grabbed your phone and call Dean, who was on speed dial.  
“Y/N, hey what's u-”  
“Vampires in the bunker, dozens of them”, you said out of breath, still fleeing and holding your cut arm in your hand.  
“What?! Are you okay, listen to me find a place and hide you can't take them on your own. You wait for us we will be there as soon as possible!”, Dean's low voice sounded panicked and you could hear the wheels of Baby turning abruptly on the road over the phone. In hurry, you let you phone fall down, and its screen broke. Damn it!

 

The door to the room 7B opened violently, you hurried yourself into it and out of breath, you closed as fast as possible. The shelves were on the side of the room so the dungeon were visible.  
“Y/N?”, asked Crowley wondering why you would be here.   
You moved towards the center of the dungeon.“Hey Crowley.”, you said in a whisper. You moved past him, and passing through the light, the demon saw blood dripping from your armchair  
“Are you hurt?”, he said uneasily.  
You were looking through the weapon holding on the wall, when you heard his voice, you looked at you limb.“Yeah, I have a little vampire situation out there.”  
“Sam and Dean?”  
“On a hunt.”  
You two haven't spoken in week and you had miss his voice, his words and his mannerism. You turned your back to him and grabbed two big machete from the wall.  
Crowley considered you gravely, seeing you after all this time made his heart skipped a beat. His shook the feeling away. “How many are there? You gonna take them down on your own?”  
“About a dozen”, you started to whisper as you heard to door to the corridor has been destroyed.  
“A do-?!”, the king yelled. “Are you crazy? You're gonna die out there!”, he threw his hand towards the door.  
“So? Like you care if I live or die”, you said harshly.  
Crowley was surprised by your word and stayed silent a moment. You scoffed and moved towards the exit. Even if you didn't want to show it, you were scared. Really scared. Your body was trembling and you were having a hard standing on your legs. You have been on hunts before and you killed your fair share of monsters, but this was different, you were alone and these creatures attack you in your home. You put your hand on the doorknob and took and deep breath.  
“Wait!”, said a voice behind.  
You turned to him and took a few step to the limit between the room and the dungeon. “What”, you threw your hands in the air.  
“I-”, he began. “I do care whether you live or die. I know the last we spoke it didn't seem like it, and I am sorry for the way I acted, but I do.”  
You were surprised by the honesty in his voices. You wanted to believe his words.  
“And I won't let you die…”  
“And what do you propose? That I hide in there with you? They are gonna find me eventually…”  
Crowley looked at you with an ounce of sadness, then he looked down at his chained wrists.  
“I don't supposed you have the keys to this chains?”  
You were scared, you never faced this situation alone, you always had the Winchesters. You couldn't think straight. You felt sweat drippping down your forehead.  
“Even if I did, what if I release you and you just zap out here?”  
A heavy noise echoed on the corridor, they were probably checking every room and they were almost here. You turned your head to the sound and your trembles intensified.  
“Y/N”, you didn't turn. “Y/N look at me!”, you approached him unsure.  
He reached to your hands. “All I want is to protect you”, he took a deep breath and looked right into your weary eyes.  
“Let me protect you”  
You looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity, for meaning. Every moment you spent with him flashed in a second in your mind. You wanted to believe him.  
You released yourself from his hands. You went back to the room and browsed through the boxes. You knew that Dean kept a copy of the keys somewhere here. Found it!  
Out of his sight, you stopped and thought about what you were about to do. Releasing the king of Hell.   
The sound of paces outside in the corridor, made you take your decision.   
You walked quickly to the men tied up and started to undo the chains. The metallic sound of the rattle of the chains echoed in the dungeon. When Crowley was finally free, you erased a small part of the devil's trap sign on the floor. The demon rose up and stretched his limbs. You never saw Crowley standing before, he was a little taller than you, his black suit was a little dusty and it seemed even better on him as he was standing. You were behind him in silence. He approached you, and without realizing you took a small step behind, something that Crowley realized.  
He smiled gently and said “I'm not going to hurt you Y/N. Give me that”, he pointed to the weapon in your hand. You gave it to him. Then he put both in hand on your shoulders and moved you against the shelves. He was strong, way more strong that you imagined and his callous finger brushed on your bare skin.  
“You stay hidden here, okay?”. You just nodded and watched him leave the room.  
Was it a good idea? I mean even if he's a demon, will he be able to take off all these vampires all by himself? Should I go help him?  
In the distance, you heard sounds of growling, of fighting and of a blade cutting through the air. You still had your machete in your hand, hold tight.   
After a few minutes, silence was all you heard. Then the sound of paces down the corridor. You didn't know who was walking towards you, you couldn't tell Crowley's foot sound from others. You were trembling and when you saw a shadow entering the room, you went out your hideout and threw your weapon in the air towards whoever was here. A hand on your wrist stop your blow instantaneously.  
“Easy there, darling”, said a well-know British voice.   
You drop your blade on the ground, the sound of it falling on the ground echoed in the silence. Without even thinking and still trembling you threw yourself onto him, searching for comfort and security. You arms found the back of his neck and you head went crashing against his ear. Crowley was under the shock of your sudden embrace, that his arms were standing there on his side, not knowing what to do. Then he gave in into the intimacy and his arms slithered around your hips. You closed your eyes, and felt a sensation of calm and peace and you stop trembling. Crowley tighten his hold on you as if he thought you were going to run away from him, he closed his eyes and enjoyed your sweet perfume and the softness of your skin against his. The warmth emerging from the both of you, felt reassuring.   
You stayed there holding, as if one needed the other to breathe, for what seemed an eternity of pleasure. Then you release a bit your embrace, and move away slowly. Both of your cheeks were so close together, his beard rubbed softly the bottom of your jawbone. Your hand wandered quickly but surely on his chest and his biceps, feeling his muscular structure under the tip of your fingers. Your heartbeat quickened.   
He kept his hand on your hips a few more seconds, his eyes found yours and they were full of softness. He smiled slowly. When his hand left your body, you took a small step back.  
“You should go”, you whispered.  
At his expression, you saw that Crowley didn't expect you to say that.   
“The boys will arrive soon, and shouldn't be here when they do”, you explain yourself.  
“You probably right, or I wouldn't leave alive!”, he said amused  
“I'll tell them you helped me, they won't go after you…for a moment”  
You could see that he was about to go.  
“Thank you”, you said in hurry. “For protecting me”. You looked down.  
He approached slowly. His reached for your hand and dropped off a small soft kiss on it. The gesture and the feel on his lips brushing your hand, made your heart skipped a beat.  
“Always, darling”. He looked right into you eyes.  
You blinked a few times.“Will I see you again Crowley?”, you asked.  
“If I'm lucky… And hopefully next time I won't be in chains”  
He snapped his fingers and he was gone.


End file.
